


Oblitus

by purpledragon42



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabble, Ficlet, M/M, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpledragon42/pseuds/purpledragon42
Summary: In the midst of the first wizarding war, someone is given an opportunity and a choice.  Will any of it matter once all is said and done? (I imagine this has been done before, but the idea got stuck in my head and refused to leave until I wrote it out.  So, there you have it. Enjoy, I guess?  The ending is bittersweet, to say the least.)





	Oblitus

Regulus ran without really seeing.  He was wandless now, the weapon knocked from his hands not long ago.  It went skittering into the darkness and he had no time to look for it.  No time to do anything but keep running.  He’d never been good at wandless magic – a fact his pursuer no doubt knew.  This was what he got – this was how it ended.  Alone and in the dark and his parents – damn them – they would always see him and the ‘good boy’ who was everything they’d dreamed.  They’d never know how far he’d tried to go to ruin the man whose ideals they worshipped.  And it made him angry!  Angry enough that when he rounded a corner to find himself in a dead-end alley, he whirled with a growl, staring in defiance at the masked figure who appeared before him.

This was it.  He waited for the Death Eater’s arm to rise, wand striking him down where he stood.  A hand rose – and he refused to flinch or look away.  But it was empty.  Long, pale fingers – fingers he thought he knew – settled on the silver mask… and pulled it off.  Regulus stiffened, lips curling angrily.  “Did he _send_ you… or did you _volunteer_?!”  The question was a snarl as he glared at one of the few men he’d trusted… one of the few he’d confided in.  And the only one who truly mattered.  “Answer me, Severus!”

The older man eyed his quarry impassively… or tried to.  There was something in his eyes... Pity?  Regret?  Or was Regulus imagining them there because he WANTED to see them.  “I volunteered,” Severus said in a voice which seemed to be waiting for retaliation.  But Regulus couldn’t.  The fight drained from him as quickly as it had come.

“So… he knows then?  Everything I told you…?  I did it all for nothing.”  The younger man sagged to the ground, feeling Severus’ eyes on him, but he refused to look up… not now that tears had started to prick in their corners.

He heard the other sigh, moving closer to him as he spoke.  “Am I so good at playing the villain even _you_ can see me as nothing else?”  He continued to move closer, eventually kneeling down in front of Regulus.  “He knows nothing, Reg.  Please… look at me.”  Familiar fingers reached out to brush his cheek, imploring. 

The younger wizard continued to stare at the ground, heart hammering for entirely different reasons now.  He hadn’t been betrayed!  Severus still…!  But then WHY was he here?!  “You can’t defy the Dark Lord’s orders.  You _have_ to kill me.  If you don’t, he’ll kill us both.”

“Mm… fortunately for us both there are many spells thrown hastily in the course of a battle which leave nothing but a finger… or part of an ear… a toe, perhaps?”  He said each part as if making suggestions… as if giving Regulus choices.  Regulus finally looked up into the eyes of the man who’d offered him comfort and protection during his time as a Death Eater. 

“W-what are you suggesting…?  Do you think, knowing what I know now, that I would willingly spend the rest of the war in hiding?!”

Severus chuckled, and the sound was one of fondness.  “No… you’re far too much like your brother for that.  Well… I suppose I’ll have to pick a body part or two for you then…”

“Wha..?”  But that was all he managed to get out before the other’s smooth, rich voice murmured, “Obliviate”

*****

Severus stared with sadness into Regulus’ eyes, watching as they went blank.  “I… I’m sorry,” he murmured.  “This is the only way to keep you safe.  Perhaps one day, you’ll forgive me…”  Perhaps one day he’d forgive himself.  He caressed the other’s cheek and then whispered, “Stupefy,” catching Regulus in his arms as the man crumpled.  He took a toe…and a small part of the other’s ear… and hoped it would be enough to satisfy Voldemort.  Then he apparated Regulus as far from the war as he could get him, dropping the man off at a muggle hospital, claiming he’d found him wandering the streets.

Walking away was quite possibly one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.  In Regulus, Severus had found a friend and companion – someone who saw his darkness – accepted it… and stayed by his side regardless.  Of course, there’d always been the fear that Regulus only gravitated to him for other reasons… and not because he truly felt anything for him, but now he’d likely never know.  He had to leave the man he’d grown to care for and hope everything worked out for the best.

Once the war was over, if he survived, he’d try to fix things.  Wiping someone’s entire memory was a dangerous thing, after all.  There was no guarantee Regulus would ever be able to regain everything back again, but that was a risk Severus chose to take.  He wanted for Regulus what he couldn’t have for himself – a life free of war and death and fear.  And who knew, perhaps the younger man would be better off without the memories of his family… or the brother who’d turned his back on him.

*****

When the war finally ended, Severus felt aimless… and like he could sleep for a decade.  He barely stomached the trials that came after and thought of nothing but finding Regulus… restoring the man… having Dumbledore help him exonerate the other’s name.  He needed something good to come from all of this.  He needed someone he could talk to about all that had happened – without being judged for his actions… his choices.  He wasn’t sure Regulus could or would be that person… but he hoped.

And then came the day when Dumbledore pulled him aside… told him his fears about what the future held.  And Severus knew with a sickening, sinking realization that he _couldn’t_ bring Regulus back.  War could be on them again at any time.  And if he brought the other back now, his own disloyalty would be obvious for any remaining Death Eaters to see.  Voldemort would know as soon as he returned that Severus wasn’t to be trusted – which would destroy all of Dumbledore’s plans.  He prayed that Regulus was safe… and happy.  Perhaps the man had found a life… someone else to love.  But now it seemed like he might never know.  Wherever the younger man was, it had to remain a secret – even from him.  He refused to let Voldemort take the life of someone else he cared for.  That was never going to happen again.  He’d die first.

And so Severus trudged through his life… waiting for the day when he could return Regulus’ memories, doing everything he could think of to make sure he survived to see the end of the war.  Doing things he’d never dreamed himself capable of during the first war.  But Regulus deserved his life back… if he wanted it.  And Severus had to make sure that happened… no matter what.  At times he felt himself torn between his desire to save Reg and his duties to Dumbledore and the boy.  Sometimes he did things that nearly cost him his life and afterwards he always swore he wasn’t going to let it happen again.  But somehow it always did.

Which was how he found himself collapsed in that shack - the one where he'd almost met his demise so many years ago. Desperation consumed him as he bled out. Someone HAD to know! Anyone!  And then there was the boy!  As if he’d read Severus’ mind.  There was SO MUCH _Harry_ needed to know!  But he didn't have enough voice…  So Severus did the only thing he could think of before his vision went dark - giving away all of the memories he could - and hoping it would be enough. His last thoughts were of Regulus' laugh and a pair of brilliant green eyes. Maybe... just maybe... he hadn't failed both of them after all.


End file.
